So I had my first interaction with a "problem" student today. There was a set of three girls that happened to get assigned seats together in the back of the room (worse luck ever!) who were , how do you say, rough around the edges and as a threesome, were not producing work. So today I informed them that that seating arrangement was not working well for me and that I was going to assign them different seats. One girl stayed at that table and I moved the other two closer to the front. Both girls complained, but when I escorted the two people that were going to be taking their seats near them they both got up and began to move. One girl grumbled but took her seat where she was suppose to and the other one, who I'll call Brook, said that she refused to sit in her new seat and would only sit by her friend. AAHHH... I didn't know what to do with an outright defiant student, and with the rest of the class waiting for instruction, I relinquished control of this student to my mentor teacher and had my teacher pull the student aside and talk some sense into her. The student came back into class, sat at her new assigned seat, but refused to do work for the rest of the day. Because I was in front if the class the entire period (versus walking around as they worked independently) I didn't really have a chance to sit down with Brook and coax her to start doing her work, besides due to the circumstances of her attitude, I didn't want to kick the hornets nest, again, in front of everyone. At the end of class, each student was asked to hand in the glue stick they were using so that none were left uncapped upon leaving, and Brook and her friend left the class with a "I don't have one"...not a battle I wanted to fight at that point either. Both of us would be hot under the collar and likely to be a bit defensive, not a productive discussion environment.
Because I had the most trouble with Brook, my mentor teach suggested that I send a note to her next class and have her called back down to talk with her one on one so that the situation didn't escalate more the next day. This was what I really wanted to do all along, but didn't know the policies for pulling students out of class or having them come in during their lunch. So I set up a nice, non-threatening area in our storage room (which had doors that I could close for privacy) with comfy chairs so that we could talk and she could feel safe and not in fear of punishment. Although, she certainly had done things that deserved reprimand, I got the sense that she probably experienced enough of that from other teachers and possibly parents that I didn't think she needed it again from me. Once she got to the class, we sat down and I started to have a discussion with her, rather than a talk at. I asked her what the deal was and if her new seating arrangement was such a big deal, what could we do to make it better? She explained that she didn't know why she reacted that way, and that it wasn't that big of a deal. She told me that she got angry pretty easily and that her life at school and home has kind of been tough. My heart broke for the poor girl. I explained that sometimes when we get mad, we don't know why and that it's just a part of being a teenager, and that the key is to know how to calm down quickly and not let it ruin our day. She said she enjoyed art and that she liked to draw (which I was totally stoked about) and had her show me some of her drawings.
I know that other teachers see her as a red flag and I wish they would all take the time to sit and talk with her for 15 or 20 minutes like I did and see that she's not a bad kid, she just has some bad circumstances in her life that she is out of control of and that she just needs nurturing and understanding. I am hoping tomorrow our conversation and agreement will hold and that for the rest of my time in the class we can have a good connection. I think she needs some positive role models in her life and I hope that I can be that for her, if only temporarily.
(Sorry for the long post, but this experience really touched me today and I felt that it was important to share out.)